Sometimes the English language is not sufficient and is lacking in vocabulary words that describe emotions and relationships that we experience. It is nice when other languages pick up the slack for us and help us put into words what we are struggling to say. I wish I had more command of other languages, but that skill has mostly eluded me. One word I learned while staying with my daughter in the Netherlands many years ago was Gezellig. I wrote it on a post it note and it has been tacked above my desk ever since. The internet gives this explanation : “A perfect example of untranslatability is seen in the Dutch language through the word gezellig, which does not have an English equivalent. Literally, it means cozy, quaint, or nice, but can also connote time spent with loved ones, seeing a friend after a long absence, or general togetherness.”

I was seeking for a word recently when I found myself in a warm embrace with my daughter’s mother in law at a family wedding. What is this warm feeling I wondered to myself? It is Gezellig! And, I thought, why doesn’t the English language have a word for the relationship we share?  Two women who have so much in common in our fierce love for our children and grandchildren. Fortunately, the Greek language came to my rescue on this. The relationship I share with the women my children call their mothers in law is more than just “the inlaws!” In the Greek language, we are Sympethera—we are co-mothers-in-law. Sympetherika is the bond between the two families created by a marriage. I am so fortunate to have five women in my life that I share this relationship, this sympetherika. They are all different and unique ladies, but my life is so much richer because they have become part of my circle. 

Vivienne, has been my friend and sympthera the longest. We met twenty five years ago and we have had a lot of bonding experiences over the many years. We live far away from each other, but somehow we are lucky enough to cross paths often in Utah. We have been witches together selling ButterBeer during the Harry Potter years, hidden easter eggs together,  cheered on musical theater performances and sent missionaries out into the world. Now we are celebrating our grandchildren’s weddings. Life moves fast when you are a sympethera!  Our hearts broke together and we mixed our tears when we held our shared twin granddaughters in our arms as they passed away and we prayed with all our might together when Dave broke his neck. We both have seven children and a lot of war stories and laughter to share with each other….and also tears. As older and wiser women, we just share our love now for each other and for our families. When my granddaughter, Charlotte, dazzles me with her piano skills, I am thankful for Vivienne because I know all that musical talent came from her. 

Carla, came into my life next. We don’t cross paths nearly as much I would like but she will always, and I mean always until the day I die have a special corner in my heart. I know that Carla literally saved Jessica’s life as she fought cancer. Carla packed up, left her home and became the guardian angel for the Gregory family. She cared for Jessica and her children for a year. I would take over as often as I could and each time the home was more in order, the children a little more adjusted, Jessica a little more comfortable. Carla literally, laid down her entire life at home in Oklahoma and nursed her back to health. Carla is a math teacher by profession and the two of us helped to get the grandkids through the Covid year. She taught math, I taught English and we all faked it until we made it through…I loved sharing the teaching profession with her for a time. And, I count a night when we both found ourselves at a risqué nightclub in the Bahamas as one of the funniest experiences I have ever had. I have never laughed so hard before or since as I did that night. We even got a free taxi ride home because the driver said he had never laughed so hard. It is definitely time for us to go out on the town together again! 

My first daughter in law, Taylor, came with a built in bestie for me, her mom, Jodi. Jodi and I live much closer to each other so we can hang out much more often. We both married men from Oregon. We both have a love for the Pacific Northwest and for the beauty that surrounds us. I have spent many a day at the gorgeous wineries that dot the Williamette Valley with Jodi laughing and bragging on our kids. She has entertained me in her peaceful, seaside home on the Oregon Coast. She entertained me in her home in Southern Oregon and now I am waiting to visit her in Bend.  Whenever I am with Jodi Gezzellig is definitely on the menu. She has impeccable decorating skills and hospitality is one of her greatest gifts which she passed on to her daughter and we all benefit from. Warm and cozy is how you feel whenever you are with her. I am grateful for how she has swept Zac up into their family and loved him like her own. Lucky, lucky me! 

As I type, I am sitting in the home that Desiree built and now Katelyn and Hunter call home. Desiree and I share a great love and compassion for our active younger grandchildren. They can keep both of us on our toes. She is DeDe and I am Nana and with both sets of eyes we can try and keep everyone from getting lost. No one can play a better Moira Rose, I almost feel like I met Catherine O’Hara in person because of Desiree. She is a woman of deep faith and conviction. Our hearts have met in long conversations as we have tried to understand this journey called life. We have ironically lived in the exact same neighborhood, at different times in our life. Our kids have attended the same schools, we shopped at the same grocery stores and took our kids to the same parks as children.  Eventually the universe brought us all together, in a sympetherika. Now we trick or treat together, in the old neighborhood where our kids grew up. My son in law has a gentleness and patient nature that I will always be grateful for Desiree instilling in him. 

And now coming full circle, I really can’t speak a word of Greek, but I have been given a full education in Greek love from my newest daughter in law and my sympthera, Avgi Papakyriakou. First of all Avgi, has perfect command of the English language which is a great blessing in my life. Our relationship has grown mainly through the use of What’s App. Thank goodness her English and her skills in other languages far exceeds mine. Avgi, is a professional ballerina and runs a very large successful ballet school in Cypress. As one of my first loves was always ballet, I envy this in her and admire her talent. Sofia has brought a fire and love into my life and her heart is twice as big as her small petite frame. She gets this from her culture and from her parents. Avgi and I have bonded as two women who are learning to navigate a new world, where borders do not exist and it is our love for our children that has brought us together. Neither of us have ever shopped at the same stores, or sent our kids to the same schools but we both have a mother’s heart and hopes for their future. I look forward to more shared memories. I am grateful for the daughter in law she gave me and for the word that I was looking for to describe this circle of women who have entered my life.